那些我们在大学学不到的东西

In far too many classes that I have taught over the last 5 years, I have heard the refrain from students, “This is the first time we are learning this.” Or, even more disturbing, “I wish I had learned this earlier in my college career.”

在我五年多来的教学生涯中，我听到太多次学生的这种心声，他们忍不住想说，“这是我头一次学到这些知识。”或更让人感到懊恼的声音，“我要是早一点，在大学时期就学到这些知识该多好！”

I’m not a teacher by training or official schooling. I’m an educator, certainly, but I’ve learned most of what I know from the school of hard knocks. Yes, I am blessed to have obtained an MBA—but the actionable, and repeatable, ideas I have gained over time have come from making mistakes and trying to figure out how to fix them. I’ve had only a couple of mentors throughout my career, and more often than not, I have been in situations where I was trying to figure out answers to questions that seemed impossible.

我并不是拥有专业的训练或正式的职业培训的那种正规教师，但却是一个教育工作者，而我大部分的知识是从人生的坎坷之中学习到的。不错，我很高兴成功地拿到了我的MBA学位，但是，我长期积累获得的那些真正具有可行性和可重复性的观念，却来源于不断的犯错和努力纠正错误的过程。在我目前的整个生涯中，我仅仅遇到屈指可数的几名人生导师，更常出现的情况是，我发现自己身陷困局，孤立无援，似乎在为不可解的问题苦苦寻觅解答。

What are some of the life lessons I would teach every college student—and career professional—if I had the chance? Here are seven of the most important lessons I fervently wish everyone could have the chance to learn:

假如我有机会大学生和参加工作的专业人士讲授知识的话，我会教给他们哪些人生课程？以下就是七条最重要的人生建议，我强烈希望人人都有机会学到这些宝训：

1.It’s a waste of time and energy to find the person, people or organization to “blame” for your troubles. There are so many things in life that aren’t fair; I teach my kids it is the one four-letter word I never want to hear them utter. Why? Because you can’t right all of the wrongs, and you won’t ever be at peace if you are looking for fair. Does that mean you don’t try to change things or fix yourself? Of course not! But, more importantly, focus on those things you can control and you can influence. Spend minimal time on those things that are completely out of your control. Instead of blaming and finger-pointing, figure out what you can do to make a difference.

1. 人生一旦遇到麻烦，就直接想要去寻找可以归咎的个体、他人或者组织，这完全是对时间和精力的浪费。人生于世，不公平者，十常八九。我教给孩子的一条铁律就是，我绝不想从你们的嘴里听到公平这两个字。为什么？因为你不可能总是做到正其不正使其正，而且，假如你在寻求正义的话，你的人生永世不会得到心灵的平静。那么，这是否就表示你可以安于现状，安于自己，不对自身和事情做任何改变？当然不是！只是，比这些更重要的事情是，多关注那些在你的控制和影响范围之内的事情。至于那些不是你所能控制的事情，能离多远就离多远。与其浪费时间于怨天尤人，不如多想想自己能做些什么，做出改变。

2.Communication isn’t natural and doesn’t come easy to most people. Yes, we learn to talk at an early age and talking, as well as walking, is a natural function for most people. But talking and communicating are two different things. Communication takes focus and energy. It takes a sincere interest in the other person or people. It requires active and reflective listening. In other words, you need to actually care about others if you ever really want to communicate effectively.

2. 交流能力既不是出自天生，也不是人人可以轻松掌握的。不错，我们的确很早的时候就开始学习讲话，而且讲话也正如走路一样，是人人都具有的自然性质的功能。但是，讲话和交流这二者之间，却天差地别，迥然不同。交流要求专注，消耗精力。你对对方或是他人要有真挚的兴趣。它要求你具有积极主动和适时回应的聆听能力。也就是说，如果你真的希望进行有效的交流的话，那么，你需要确实关心对方。

3.Learn how to solve your own problems. Stuck in a rut? Many people are, at some point in their life. Not sure what to do next or how to get somewhere? It’s a common occurrence. The question is whether you spend your time lamenting how stuck you are, or you devote your attention to finding a new, creative way out of your problem. Problem-solving skills are a scarcity in most businesses. Be a problem-solver, not a problem-maker.

3.培养解决问题的能力。人生陷入了瓶颈期？很多人都会有这样的经历，这是人生必经的一个阶段。下一步有什么打算，如何让人生的脚步继续向前，对于这些都拿不定主意？这种情况同样司空见惯。问题的关键在于，你是停在问题中，顾影自怜，自怨自艾，还是将精力投入到寻找新颖而又有独创性的方法，努力走出泥潭。遗憾的是，在很多事务上，人们解决问题的技艺总是少得可怜。因此，做一个问题解决者，而不要做问题制造者。

4.Become curious—about yourself, about other people and about the world around you. Don’t take things at face value or believe everything you hear. Ask “why?” as often as a three-year-old. Be interested in what’s underneath any information you hear, or learn. Where is it coming from? Why is it being passed along? What’s the background or intention? This is different from being paranoid—instead, it’s taking a sincere interest in learning. Life is a schoolhouse for those who want to learn and explore.

4.永葆好奇心——无论是对你自己，对他人，还是对你周围的世界。不要肤浅地只看事物的表面现象，轻信你听到的所有事情。你要像三岁幼童一样，追问“为什么”。对于你听到或是了解到的任何信息，都要打破沙锅问到底。它是从哪来的？为什么会得到散播？它的背景或意图是什么？这种好奇不同于偏执狂，相反，这是一种对于学习的真挚兴趣。仅仅对于那些有学习和探索愿望的人来说，人生处处皆学问这句话才是真实的。

5.Never stop networking or making connections. For many people the world is small; it’s their family or the place of work they visit each day. There is a world of people out there to connect with, to learn from and to engage with. You don’t have to become a social butterfly, flitting from one event to another, but it’s important to have connections and contacts. Keep in touch with people. Be interested in their lives and share information about yours. You never know when you will need a friend or colleague to help you somewhere along the way.

5.永远不要停止编织人际关系网或更新与他人的联系。对很多人来说，这个世界狭隘得可怜。也就是他的家庭加上他每个工作日工作的地方那么大而已。但实际上，外面有整个世界的人等着你去与他们进行联系，从他们那里学习，或者参与并理解他们的世界。这并不是要求你成为一个交际能手，游走在各种交际场所。但是，保持与外界的联系和接触，这是异常重要的。保持与别人的联络，关心他们的生活的情况，并与他们分享你的生活状况。在人生的旅途中，你根本无法预料，在生活的哪一个方面，你可能需要朋友或同事的帮助。

6.Share your talents. Everyone has a gift to offer. It’s a waste to keep your gifts hidden from the world. Find out what you are good at, or the talent you can share, and actively seek places to share those gifts.

6.分享你的天才。人人都有属于自己的天赋，把你的天赋展现给世界，否则，这将是一种巨大的浪费。找到你自己的强项，或是你可以拿出来分享的天才，然后就要积极主动地寻求展现天赋的一切机会和场合。

7.Give up being a naysayer. There are plenty of people who can tell you why something won’t work, why it isn’t possible and how negative to be. There are numerous newspapers and websites to tell you how dire circumstances are, and to encourage you to just give up. Instead, refuse to believe the naysayers and don’t participate in their game. Find the positive in every day. Simply being able to walk, talk and breathe is a gift. Be a glass-half-full kind of person even when circumstances seem to tell you otherwise.

7.拒绝做否定主义者。总有无数这样的人，他们会告诉你为什么这件事行不通，为什么那件事不可能，人活着是多么无意义。还有大量的报纸和网站向你宣扬，现实是多么糟糕，并鼓励你早早放弃希望。与此相反，你要拒绝否定主义者的这一套理论，远离他们的一切活动。发现每一天当中积极向上的那一面。仅仅只是行走，说话和呼吸的能力，都是上天赐给我们的珍贵礼物。即使现实情况真的很糟糕，也同样要做一个积极乐观面对这一切的人。

The most learned person can only gain so much from reading books, from laboratory testing and from sitting in class. Real learning comes from experiencing the world and seeing your place in it. Try and apply any one of these seven tips to forward your life and career.

最擅于读书的人，他们获取最丰富知识的地方，仅仅局限于读书，做实验和课堂上老师的教诲。而真正的学习则来自于亲身去经验这个世界，同时找到自己在人世间的位置。尝试并运用这七个人生建议，让你的生活和职业更上一层楼。